True friendship is never made in good times, but in the bad times. It is forged by the fires of shared trials and agonies, shared experiences and time spent together.

But friendship is beyond just words and social discourses. It is how much someone values you as a friend, and that is felt in the little things, the emotions.. the unspoken, meaningful glances.. the protectiveness.. the care and concern that words cannot contain.. All these differentiates the true from the false. I am glad and contented with my circle. It is more than enough.

There is a beauty and clarity to late night talks, I wish that the human body doesn't have to sleep so I could experience it without the after effects knocking me out for most of the morning. If I had my way, Afternoons should be for sleeping. The hottest, most useless, agonising part of every 24 hours.

And I will be going home from Euge's place in that heat. Oh joy.

Odeurey has gotten attached (thankfully not engaged) so it would seem. I felt.. a certain sense of loss. Even though we do not have anything substantial between us to be lost. Perhaps the loss of opportunity? She's always been this dream that gives me hope and motivation to pick myself up when I am down, and she will continue to be. At least for awhile more. Awhile more.

Friendship is more multifaceted then I thought it was. Sometimes it scares me, the complexity. A strong urge to just jettison everything and everyone and seclude myself from such disturbing social constructions. But I know its the hysteria speaking due to the overexposure. Something like, the sun's a good thing generally, but too much causes skin cancer. I love my friends, but I have never been much of a socialiser to begin with. I'm really fine just being alone, although some company once in awhile is really, really nice. I need it to be simple though. Life is complex enough as it is already.

It does seem on retrospect, most tangential. And time does makes it more so.

Some goodbyes are the hardest to say, and others are better left unsaid.


Its amazing how acquaintances as can be mistakenly labelled friends, and shocking how friends can be treated like acquaintances.


(I shall update this post when I organise my thoughts)

Alex told me today, that I should not be taken advantage of by female friends.. That I should not do the job of the boyfriend without the perks of holding hands, kissing, et al. I agree theoretically. I should not be that willing to be the second choice. It isn't like they thought of me first right? I'm just a convenience, nothing more. Just a second fiddle filling in the gap left by the unwilling first.

However, they are friends, and I do want to maintain a certain relationship with them. Plus its not as if it were purely a one-sided utilitarian arrangement. What I have, is time and boredom. So as long as there isn't something more interesting to do, and the frequency of requests ain't too high or the demands ain't too.. well, demanding, I have no objections to a little fellowship.

Of course, if the female friend does not reciprocate the attention and the favours.. I am sorry but goodbye (and good riddance). And well, its not as if it were that easy for them to be my friends anyway.

And I shall end this with a quote from Alex:

"Make them fall for you without falling for them yourself."

Ideal, but sometimes the second part ain't that easy man.. haha

How the weeks have flown by.

Alex has gone to Taiwan and back.. Christmas & New Year have come and gone in the space of a week. Already, the first week of the year has passed. Its a nice feeling, not having to give a damn about school. =)

Well of Life,
give me today my double portion,
the peace and rest your comfort brings,
let my heart be light,
filled with joy overflowing.
For this is Your chosen year,
and I have Your favour
always and forevermore.
Amen.