I wish

that you are the one
my heart is yearning for..



The hols is ending soon and I have yet to touch my homework. oops. Daddy's back from his Vietnam trip, while Alex just went over.. everyone seems to be going to Vietnam this year. Wish I could go again.. But it won't be until next Nov/Dec. Need to concentrate on A levels, piano, and oac.

Personally, I think its a worthwhile risk, considering all the factors and the worst case scenarios. I'm just gonna take things as they come. If it works, great. If it doesn't, that's too bad.

Like what Adri said,

"hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

I think Christmas should be right smack in the middle of the hols, not towards the end. =( with school so near, its near impossible to relax. Still, I'm gonna put sch out of my mind. lol. (hmwk? what hmwk?)



"Girls are confusing creatures and emotional hotspots."

How true. That's what makes them attractive anyway. ( I mean, would you like a butch?) pfft.

Went out with Alex today.. Watched Hitman. But it wasn't the highlight of the day. The after-talk was. It was about Elisha. Elisha has improved so much. As much as I have deproved. Its shameful. Its humiliating. To have dropped so far, so fast. I have never had a worse year academically. And I'm basically disgusted with myself.

I won't even begin to talk about the iron balls and chains that's been weighing me down, sinking me to depths I've never wanted to reach.

Next year's forecast: Hell.

I hate this so much. This feeling of inferiority. I'm not even mediocre.

I need to prioritise. A lot of people will hate me for this. But I gotta do it for myself. Shove the talk about self-sacrifice and all that preaching about fairness. It's an unfair world to begin with, and success only ever came from disparity. So grow up.

Priorities:

First and foremost, a lot of time is going into STUDIES.
In fact, it will trump every other decision.
That means, no going out. No chatting. No talking. No hanging around school. No nothing. Just studying. Especially when there's a test.

Second - My piano.

Third - Time to rest and relax. I need my personal space to unwind. After all that hard work studying, I NEED THAT BREAK.

Forth - friends, here is where you come in. Still, I telling you beforehand that I will be very dao next year. So forgive me. You see, there's a problem I have. I can't socialise and study at the same time. Or play piano and socialise. Or rest and socialise. They are totally different things. I love you guys but next year is an important year. I need my As.

Fifth. oac. You guys are lovely. You guys are under friends. the responsibilities and whatelsesaikangworksloggingmygutsoutunplannedunscheduledtraining is fifth and last.

That's how it goes.

Just to let you know.

And I don't really care what you think. Its my life I'm talking about.

Days sweep by in a blur
As I frequently lose count of days and Time.
But still,
I'm ever aware
Of the second hand
Ticking through the foggy slur.
So many things have happened, and so many
Still are yet to come.
Dreams and nightmares
All merged into one.

Reality doesn't always agree,
But Reality doesn't hold with me.
After all,
What is Life but a game,
Genre: fantasy,
a playground for you and me?
Come now,
And do what you will,
Twist the game with
A tantalising swirl,
cheap thrills and crazy whirls.

In the end,
Who's to say you were wrong
When you're gone,
When you've had fun
All along?

^^