I need a boost of adrenaline.
I need to understand the huge amount of chem equations.
I need to REMEMBER that huge amount of chemistry.
Sheesh.
Why must they have a test in the middle of march?
Why can't it be when school reopens?
I guess its to remind us to study.
Its mad.

Anyway, I did anything but study till today.
haha, two days before the crappy science tests.
Huge amounts of chem to remember.
Huge amounts of physics to remember.
Its all about memorising overloads of information.
Understanding is easy though.

(scrap the above two paragraphs. Senseless, stressed up ramble.)

I kinda feel that there's ample amounts of time,
yet simultaneously, there's this nagging feeling that there isn't.
Still, I refuse to panic.
Its a strange thing, panic.
A deceleration of time as you watch yourself screw up with acute clarity.
Most of the time one has the time to think:
"shit, why am I screwing up?!"
Its a real crappy feeling.

Anyway, I took a few days off this March hols to:
go rollerblading (hooray)
catch Step Up 2 (really hilarious movie, but cheesy ending)
eat
sleep
organise the notes on the study table (finally.)
clean up da room (double finally.)
accompany megan on her navel piercing experience (lol)

Is that all? sheesh.
Its not enough.
I need more. (craves.)

Well, its two more days and then the tests are over.
I want good results.
So, back to studying.

PS: I got E for H1 A level chinese.
=)
NO MORE CHEENA FOREVER!
I escaped the additional 250 minute trap on the timetable. hooray!
^^

went rollerblading today.
Its been awhile since I touched a pair of wheels.
The glide was so exhilarating!
Admittedly, I kinda deproved. Like a duck out of water.
sheesh.
Skated all the way to some chalet far far away..
It was so wonderful, just a huge expanse of emptiness
(ignore the rare human being)
and the constant rhythm of the slish-slosh of the blades.

Surprisingly, I improved the moment I turned around to go back.
So good, that I gave myself loads of blisters
one, two, three, four.
small price for the fun I had.
Still, I think I'll make it a biweekly thing.
I really wanna improve.
Was drenched after it all.
Such is the accursed humidity of the tiny red dot.
laughs.

Went to 7-eleven's to grab a 1.5l green tea.
And on impulse, two tubes of chocolate-coated candy.
Turned out that each tube cost $5.45.
ohcrap.
And I had to buy two tubes.
doublecrap.
Japan imported goods. pfft.
But they are really nice! =)

Next, the hunt for grub.
Bused down to parkway, but Yoshinoya's GONE!
damn you guardian.
Then I thought of the K.C. shopping centre's chicken rice. yes, that's nice.
Walked 15 minutes there and guess what. They are CLOSED for the day.
This is so not my day. ha
So eventually I settled for some other chicken rice further down the street.
Not bad actually.
The waiters were using PDAs to take orders.
In a coffee shop setting.
Real amusing.

Well, that sums up today.

Slish-slosh.

Reading books is a redirection
from "the" reality
to a world a fiction.
It is a cure to life's malfunction:
Boredom in Stress.
So escape!
Into the relative safety,
the compelling mirage
that gives you the second life
you always wished for.

Love stories are good. Is it a sign?
Taste and see, touch and feel.
Wear it boldly, in your eyes
and your smile.
Not mona lisa's.

I love -

Popped by dad's room to use his printer. So while the printer goes on printing the huge amount (at least, it's alot to me) of crap K.I. material, I shall blog a nice little post.

I walk about in school and I observe the actions, reactions and interactions of my school mates around me, and I realise with a start, that everything's all a matter of perspective. There is so much misinterpretation and misrepresentation. So much intolerance. Its amazing once the haze of fatigue disappears, 'cos I see so much more clearly. No longer that tired anymore. No longer that stressed and worked up anymore. Life feels.. so much fresher and happier.

Once friends lose the common activity/interest/experience/bond, they gradually, but exponentially drift apart. Its conflict of interest, you see. Neither can understand the other. There is no sympathy, as the other no longer is part of the "suffering". We all tend to gravitate towards people who are similar, or going through similar situations, as us. Its more comfortable, because there is at least someone who "understands".

Everyone has different thresholds, and our thresholds vary through time, some increase, others decrease. Its all part of the growing process. It is natural to admire those with a higher threshold then us and aspire to be like them. Its called idol worship. It is also natural to have a mixture of contempt and pity for the weaklings. Its called elitism. But there will come a day, when those we worship crash to the ground, and those we hold in contempt and pity supercede us. When that day comes, one will lose both the anchor and directional compass, and full of inner turmoil. One can also be sure that the weak will not hesitate to crush one with the many years of accumulated contempt and pity that one gave. So the wheel of reciprocal fate turns.

Before I help anyone else, I must first make sure I help myself first. Its the first aider mentality. No point helping someone out when the net gain is zero (or worse still, negative). Therefore, here's the plan: I'll fill myself with lots and lots of God's word. What comes out will be the overflow.

Here's a prayer:

Dear God,
I have three very dear friends, Alex, Eugene and Megan. We all face individual trials and struggles. We are not prefect. We slip up sometimes. And just sometimes, the mess seems impossible to solve. We are drowning God, in a pile of obligation (school, family, friends even), but You are our strength when we are weak, You are the one who crushed the walls of Jericho (symbolic of the trials and problems we face). You are the power behind David's sling. You parted the Red Sea. You drowned the enemies in the Red Sea. You walked on water. You so loved us that You came and died on the cross, and rose again. What we face now is nothing compared to all you've done! And by Your faith, our problems disappear. We put our trust in You. All our hope lies in You. At our wits end, You always come through for us. All this I pray, in Your most holy name.

Amen.