Loneliness.

I never knew what loneliness was, truly,
until all of you left me here all
alone.
Come back soon,
my dears,
because I miss you.

There is nothing like an empty house.
Its not a nice feeling at all.
Vacant and hollow.
The home is not the physical,
though that is important.
The home is not just the social,
though that is important.
The home is
all of you here with me,
in a place we call ours.

For now, I'll savour this emptiness,
drink deep of its sorrow,
and let this surge of loneliness
remind me
of all the good times we have had together;
that I have taken for granted
you all who have made me who I am.
I miss all of you..
so very, very much.

As Eugene would say,
"relish it."

I will try, though I feel like crying.
Never thought I would be homesick at home.
And its only day one.

edit:
something that I said, from my conversation with Eugene:

"its not that I don't appreciate being alone.. its a new experience.. an experience out of my comfort zone. And the feeling is so alien.. so foreign.. its so extreme its scary. Its at once empowering and at the same time disabling. I'll leave it at that for now.."