I realised, that today, I came close to what I have been doing for the whole of last year: bumming around wasting my time. It felt.. bad. Stop it Joshua. You must understand that to the oac guys, bumming around is rest and relaxation compared to all the crap they have been slogging their guts out for. For you, its boredom. To them, its a great break. Well, anything is better than working.

Life is colourful, sploches of dark threatening hues against a bleak backdrop set against an overcast circumstance.. When it rains it pours, flooding, drowning, cleansing. Violent colours, vibrant colours, all come pouring down in technicolour shades. Pain & pleasure, all roled into one.

I want to be friends, that's all. But I guess I don't know how, don't know what. Completely senseless about propriety and doing stupid things like ASK WEIRD QUESTIONS. Oh well, bye bye beautiful. It was nice while the game lasted. Sorry I spoilt your fun by guessing who you were. I should have played dumb. LoL

The sky is one lacklustre shade of off-white, my inner mirror. Its Valentine's on this lovely but uneventful day. Paramore sings quietly in the background. Okay, maybe not so quietly. Misery Business is the name of the game, as my heart takes another short trip on the swing. I glance urgently at the phone, willing you to reply, to send an sms hours overdue, to imply that I did not cross the line; that its really game over. One can only wonder at the potential mistakes one made in retrospect. Regrets? Not really, just a slight wistfulness at a chance that slipped by. Not meant to be is not meant to be only after one has tried. I tried. And its not meant to be.

And I really can't seem to remember your face.

PS: You did reply after all.. LoL