Went out with Alex today.. Watched Hitman. But it wasn't the highlight of the day. The after-talk was. It was about Elisha. Elisha has improved so much. As much as I have deproved. Its shameful. Its humiliating. To have dropped so far, so fast. I have never had a worse year academically. And I'm basically disgusted with myself.

I won't even begin to talk about the iron balls and chains that's been weighing me down, sinking me to depths I've never wanted to reach.

Next year's forecast: Hell.

I hate this so much. This feeling of inferiority. I'm not even mediocre.

I need to prioritise. A lot of people will hate me for this. But I gotta do it for myself. Shove the talk about self-sacrifice and all that preaching about fairness. It's an unfair world to begin with, and success only ever came from disparity. So grow up.

Priorities:

First and foremost, a lot of time is going into STUDIES.
In fact, it will trump every other decision.
That means, no going out. No chatting. No talking. No hanging around school. No nothing. Just studying. Especially when there's a test.

Second - My piano.

Third - Time to rest and relax. I need my personal space to unwind. After all that hard work studying, I NEED THAT BREAK.

Forth - friends, here is where you come in. Still, I telling you beforehand that I will be very dao next year. So forgive me. You see, there's a problem I have. I can't socialise and study at the same time. Or play piano and socialise. Or rest and socialise. They are totally different things. I love you guys but next year is an important year. I need my As.

Fifth. oac. You guys are lovely. You guys are under friends. the responsibilities and whatelsesaikangworksloggingmygutsoutunplannedunscheduledtraining is fifth and last.

That's how it goes.

Just to let you know.

And I don't really care what you think. Its my life I'm talking about.